


Alcohol, Petty Crime, and Romance

by jewelianna88



Category: Popslash
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-23
Updated: 2011-04-23
Packaged: 2017-10-18 13:33:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/189394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jewelianna88/pseuds/jewelianna88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which you will find out the real reason they're glad Lance is in Russia, how Justin was reunited with his moonman, and just what breaking up with his girlfriend has taught Justin about himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alcohol, Petty Crime, and Romance

JC was trying to decide between peanut butter and jelly or humus wraps for lunch when the buzzer at his gate went off. He wandered into the corner of his front hall with all the little monitors to peer at the figure of a man standing in the light rain, surrounded by black suitcases and duffle bags. He hesitated a second, but this clearly wasn't a crazed fan standing at the end of his driveway, so he pressed the intercom button and asked "Can I help you?"

"C! Let me in man, I'm gettin' all wet out here!" Justin's voice crackled through the speaker, which never worked quite right in the rain. JC pressed the button to open the gate, then headed to the front door, stopping to step into a pair of flip flops on the way.

Justin entered like a mild hurricane. He came running up the driveway full-force, bags hanging from his shoulders and hands. He took the last few steps in one giant leap into the foyer, then skidded as his wet sneakers hit the marble floor, crashing into the opposite wall. JC cringed, then walked to the closet to grab an old beach towel to mop up the floor where Justin lay dripping. He closed the door and smiled down at his friend, who lay motionless on the floor under a pile of black leather baggage.

"Are you OK?" JC asked, taking a few swipes at the floor then tossing the towel to Justin as he emerged from the suitcases.

"No. I am not fucking OK." Justin toed off his wet sneakers and headed into the kitchen. He hopped up on a bar stool and spun back and forth. "She shut me out, man. Changed the locks, changed the guard. There's this fat guy out there all fucking 'I can't let you in, Mr. Timberlake. She's ordered you not to be allowed in, Mr. Timberlake.' Fuck him, fucking. Shit."

"Wait, Britney locked you out? That's whacked, man. I thought you guys'd worked something out about that."

Justin scowled. "Bitch. She said I could stay there till I got my own place. As long as she was gone. Lying bitch." JC opened the fridge and took out two bottles of beer. Justin looked like he could use a drink. He moved to the drawer on the island where he kept the opener, but Justin pulled his keys from his pocket and held them out to JC. JC glanced down at the keychain beer opener and smiled.

"Where did you get this?" he asked, starting at the tow truck company logo on the green plastic.

"Trace. I think. Or one of his friends or something. I dunno. They said it was a sin for a guy my age not to have one." Justin stuck his keys back in his pocket and took a deep swig of beer. A guy his age, who was supposed to be looking for a summer job before starting his senior year of college, not fighting with his crazed pop star ex-girlfriend over admittance into his own home. Sometimes JC couldn't help but feel sorry for Justin, just a little bit.

"What're you gonna do now?" JC asked.

"I dunno." Justin shrugged. "Call the lawyer, I guess. God, I hate having to call her. She always makes me sound like a little kid whining cause I didn't get my way. Maybe call Brit." He grimaced at that, and wondered how much Advil he'd end up ingesting after that conversation.

"Couldn't hurt. Maybe it was just a mix-up," JC offered, unconvincingly.

"Not very likely. Shit. What'd I do to deserve this?"

JC could think of a few things, but didn't answer. Instead he asked, "So, you need a place to stay, right? Cause you know you can always crash here, man. I mean it." JC leaned back against the island counter and thought, hmm, maybe Justin will want Indian food for lunch.

"Thanks man. Yeah, for a little while at least. I'd planned to look for a house anyway." Justin finished his beer and walked over to the sink to rinse out the bottle. JC was a fanatic about recycling.

"No problem. Do you wanna take my room? Cause, you know, the spare faces down the hill and the other one's full of stuff."

Justin rubbed a hand over his head. "I don't wanna put you outta your room, man. That's not cool."

JC shrugged. He had no real attachment to his bedroom. He only slept there about fifty nights a year. "It's cool, man. Really, you sleep there." He followed Justin into the hallway and grabbed a bag. Halfway up the stairs, Justin turned and said "Have you eaten? Cause I'm craving Indian," and JC smiled.

**

Having a houseguest didn't really bother JC at all. His house was big with lots of little nooks and corners, so it was easy to separate himself from whatever was going on elsewhere in the house. He and Justin kept pretty much the same schedule, rising around nine, working out, then doing their work things. For Justin it meant going to the studio and recording, producing, or generally fiddling. For JC is meant getting in his car and driving out to wherever inspiration may hit. One day it was a trip up the Pacific Coast Highway, another it was sitting on the sidewalk in front of the Chinese Theater. He and Justin didn't reconnect until late, after dinner, and sometimes didn't see each other again until the next morning.

It worked out pretty well, and it kept JC from feeling too lonely during their hiatus. The word still sounded weird when he thought about it. Hiatus. Huh.

The week before they were supposed to fly to Orlando for the Challenge, JC woke up to find Justin already gone. He shrugged, and lifted on his own that day, listening to the Good Charlotte CD that Chris had insisted he buy. It was more Chris's taste in music than his, but not bad. A nice change from the NERD CD that Justin listened to every day. JC loved the Neptunes, but please God, not all day every day the way Justin would have it, if given the opportunity.

When he had finished his reps, he peeled off his wifebeater tank and wandered upstairs to the den. He'd been working on a song last night that had stumped him, and a rhythm had come to him while working out. He tended to lose stuff like that easily, so he wanted to at least jot it down before showering. There was so much music in his head sometimes that it got confusing.

There was a new piece of music on the piano when he sat down. C- Wanted to put this on my album but I can't imagine it without the rest of you. See what you think. Justin's note was written on top of a crude piece of staff paper with a five part harmony written out underneath. JC hummed a little bit, then started picking the cords out on the piano. It was different, somewhere between doo-wop and hip-hop. The moving bass line rocked. Lance would be all over that.

Distracted from his previous intentions, he swung around to sit fully at the piano, concentrating on picking out the whole song. He sang along one of the tenor parts while playing the other four chords. After a few tries, he had it down pretty well, he thought. He started again when he felt the hairs rising on the back of his neck. He whirled around to see Justin standing in the doorway.

"You found it," he said.

JC smiled. "Yeah, this is great, dude. Wow. It's like, totally us."

"I know," Justin said. He walked over to where JC was sitting and leaned over, resting his forearms on the piano. "I really wanted to work it onto the album, but it just can't be ripped down to one voice. No way."

"Do you have words?" JC asked, flipping the page over to see if there might be something on the back.

Justin shook his head. "Nah. Not yet. I love the beat and all, but I have no idea what kind of song it should be."

JC thought for a moment. This was why he and Justin never wrote songs together. He found inspiration and put it into words. Then fitted the words to music. Justin wrote the music and then searched for words that would work with it. They found that trying to write together was impossible because of this. Still, JC had been writing a lot that summer and hadn't put much to music yet. His mind thought back to the day he spent watching street performers at Venice Beach.

"I might be able to find something that would fit with this." JC tilted his head to look up at Justin. "Can I play with it a little?," he asked.

Justin shrugged. "Sure. Be mah guest," he said with a phony unidentifiable accent, making them both grin.

"Cool, man. Cool." JC pushed back from the piano a little bit and stood, stretching. He glanced at the wall clock and realized it was almost noon.

"I gotta shower, man. I'm all gross."

Justin sniffed and made a face. "Yeah, you are. Go, shower. Then come back down here cause I gotta ask you something."

JC cocked an eyebrow in Justin's direction. "Oh yeah?"

Justin nodded. "Go. Shower. Then come back and talk." Justin turned toward the kitchen and JC bounded up the stairs two at a time, still singing the melody of Justin's song in his head.

**

When JC came back down, Justin was laying down on the couch, watching The Real World on MTV. JC flopped down over a chair and snatched the remote from Justin's limp hand.

"Hey! I was watching that!" Justin cried.

"It's not like it's not on a million times a week. I just wanna check the scores from last night." JC flipped to SportsCenter, where the orange screen posted highlights from the Orioles/Red Sox game.

Justin pouted for a minute, then sat up and pulled his legs onto the couch, Indian style. "Ok, you've seen the score. They lost again. You live in LA now, it's time to find a new team."

JC shook his head. "You have no concept of allegiance, dude. You can't just switch teams."

Justin scratched his head. "Can I talk to you for a sec?" he asked, hoping that JC would turn off the TV and pay attention now that the newscasters had moved onto the next game.

"Sure. My ears are yours. Or, well, not really but they have your attention. Yeah, go ahead." JC turned off the television and swung around to face Justin.

"I've got these cameras, right? For the MTV thing?"

JC fiddled with the snap on his track pants. "Yeah. What, you want them to come here? I told you, no media inside the walls of Chasez, man. I'm not bending."

"No, no. I totally understand that. God, I don't want them in my house either. Stupid bitch and her Diary-" he stopped and closed his eyes. JC could see his was counting to ten, and smiled. Justin and his anger management books.

"They want to come to Challenge with me, and I just wanted to make sure it wasn't gonna be a problem. Because I really don't want that to turn into a me thing. It's an us thing all the way." Justin leaned back against the couch, dropping his hands onto his stomach.

"Oh." JC stopped fiddling with his pants and thought for a moment. Justin was so cute, all worried about taking over the limelight. Sometimes JC wanted to just hug him and say thank you for not giving in to the temptation to be a superstar. "Sure, man. As long as you don't mind, I don't think it'll be a problem."

Justin smiled, obviously relieved. "Good. Cause they weren't too happy when I said maybe no, but I hadta check with y'all, you know?" He stood up, stretched. "What time is it? Noon?"

"Yup. Eleven in Russia, if that's what you're thinking." JC was generally acknowledged as the king of time zones, and could freakishly tell you what time it was anywhere on the planet. It came in handy with Lance half a world away, especially for Justin who could never remember to add or subtract hours even when calling across the country.

"Is that too late?" Justin asked, and JC shrugged in response. "Nah, he'll be up. I'm gonna call and see when he's flying in." Justin pulled out a cell phone and wandered out onto the balcony off the living room. JC leaned his head back and watched Justin pace outside of the tinted glass. The sky was really blue, he thought, and the bright sun bounced off of Justin's hair making it look even blonder than usual, even through the dark glass. JC lifted a hand to his own hair, which was curling as it dried. He wanted to grow it out so it was long enough to pull into a ponytail.

Outside, Justin had stopped pacing and was leaning against the rail. His body looked tense, and JC unfolded himself from the chair and walked over to the door.

The hot air was a shock as JC exited the air-conditioned room to join Justin on the balcony.

"So they won't even give you a day off?" Justin was saying. JC had already kind of figured that Lance wasn't gonna be able to come, but hadn't voiced it to anyone. He rubbed Justin's back as Justin talked, soothing circles across Justin's damp T-Shirt.

"No no, I understand. I just miss you, man. We've always done this together, ya know? It won't be. It won't be the same." Justin turned, and JC could see the hurt in his eyes. "Me too. Of course, yeah." Justin laughed a little. "Yeah. Go sleep man. See you whenever."

Justin pressed the end button and sighed. "Did you know?"

JC moved his hand from Justin's back to his shoulder. "Not officially. I kind of figured, but you know. Never say never and all that."

Justin leaned down, resting his elbows on the gray brick wall. "Now you can. He's so behind already, he can't leave."

JC moved so he too was leaning on the wall, mimicking Justin's pose. They stood looking down over the valley, which was covered in haze.

"This isn't the end of us, right?" Justin asked, not looking at JC.

JC didn't have to think before answering. "No."

"How do you know?"

"Because it doesn't feel like the end. I'm not worn out, I'm not tired of it. I want to keep going. As long as we want to keep going, we will."

"What it some of us want to but others don't?" Justin's asked softy.

"You thinking about leaving us?" JC joked, bumping his ass against Justin's. Justin smiled a little and shook his head. "None of us are ready to be done yet. We're just catching up the other parts of our lives. They've been neglected for so long, it made everything so out of balance. Once things are back in balance, we'll start again."

Justin turned to face JC. "Whatta you do, sit around and think this shit up all day?"

JC kicked a leg out at Justin. "It's better than sitting around worrying all day. You're like, my grandma times a million sometimes."

Justin kicked back, tangling his leg with JC's. He laughed as JC was thrown off balance and danced back towards the glass door. "So graceful." Then, as quickly as his good mood had come, it left again. "Doing this without Lance is gonna be weird."

JC nodded solemnly. "Very weird."

Justin stood up straight, and looked down at his cellphone. "Fuck, now I'm all depressed and shit."

It was pretty depressing. This was supposed to be the one time they all got to see each other over the summer. Lance not being there would change the whole mood of the event.

"I suppose we'll just have to look at the bright side of Lance being in Russia." Justin had a wicked look on his face.

"What's that?", JC asked. "The fact that you're actually getting to use all those global minutes you pay for every month?"

Justin laughed. "Well that. But I was thinking more like that huge ass bottle of Vodka he FedExed last week."

JC raised an eyebrow. "It's twelve thirty in the afternoon."

"Yeah, but I'm all depressed about not seeing him this weekend. C'mon. Let's go get drunk and mourn Lance's absence." Justin grabbed JC by the hand and dragged him back into the cool living room to hunt down the alcohol.

**

By five, they had finished most of the Vodka. By seven, they were left sprawled in the den, eating whatever JC had in the kitchen, feeling the effects of good Russian alcohol as the sun set outside.

"Women suck." Justin proclaimed from the floor, as he tried to fish a potato chip out of the bag. "I mean, they totally don't suck, at least not any of the ones know I about. But they still suck." Justin looked up. "I'm not making any sense."

JC grinned down at his friend, from his perch sitting on the coffee table. "I don't have to worry about that. No women for me."

Justin pouted. "That's not fair. There's some reason that's not fair, but I can't think of it right now. But it's not. I wanna be gay."

JC burst out laughing. "OK. You can be gay. From now on, you're gay."

Justin giggled. "I'm all about cock. I'm a man's man. Yup. No more women, no more breakups, no more fucking matching outfits. None. I'm done. Forever." He reached up to poke JC's thigh. "You're my idol now. My big idol. My big, not very fat, gay idol." He leaned his head on JC's foot.

JC giggled as Justin's hair tickled his toes. "Can you imagine what Brit would say if you really were gay? Like, if you went to MTV and said that you were really gay and that's why you broke up?"

Justin laughed. "Oh, that would so be worth it. That would get her back for keeping my moonman."

"She has your moonman?" JC looked down at Justin, bopping his foot.

Justin's eyes rolled back. "Dude, dizzy. Don't do that." He shifted so his head was resting on the floor. "Yeah. I got most of my stuff but we had that big, like, trophy case in the great room and it's in there. Other stuff too, all the big fancy award stuff."

JC eased off of the coffee table. The room was spinning a little, and sitting on the floor was much better. Less chance of falling, he thought. "We should go get it back."

"I tried. That fucking guard." Justin rolled up into a sitting position, so he was leaning against the couch. Justin's knees bumped JC's, his right foot resting on top of JC's left.

"That's." JC frowned. He cursed the alcohol for making his head all fuzzy. "Wait!" He mentally retracted the curse and blessed the alcohol for bringing him such a brilliant idea. "We can hike down."

Justin raised his eyebrows. "We can?"

JC nodded. "Yup. Cause, I did it that one time, remember, when I was bored that time. You know. That time."

Justin grinned. "Yeah, man. Like, go down the hill and scale the wall. We're like, all Rambo secret unit shit."

JC stood up and tottered a little bit. "Come on. Get up. Come on!" He bounced on his feet as Justin slowly rose into a standing position.

Justin looked outside. "We have to wait. It's not dark yet."

JC turned to stare outside. "You're right." He flashed Justin a dazzling grin. "You're so smart!" JC stumbled over to the built-in drawers under his TV. "I think I have a flashlight. And we're gonna need something to carry the stuff in."

A half hour later, each wearing a backpack and carrying a flashlight, the two men began their descent down the cliff.

**

"I can't believe we just did that." JC closed the front door and followed Justin into the kitchen. Justin had already started emptying his backpack onto the table, pulling out various awards and trophies. JC began to do the same, and soon the table was cluttered with AMAs, Moonmen, Blockbuster awards, and a variety of others.

"Man, I really wish we could have gotten that surfboard." JC laughed at the thought of the two of them struggling up the hill with the giant surfboard.

"Man, look at all this shit." Justin picked up one of the MTV Video Music awards and started an impromptu dance around the kitchen. "I've got my moonman, I've got my moonman." JC laughed and started to dance with his friend. He grabbed the stereo remote from the island and pressed play, starting the Good Charlotte CD he'd been listening to at the end of his workout earlier that day.

"Well they got mansions think we should rob them." Justin belted out the lyrics at the top of his lungs, rolling his hips for all he was worth.

When the song was over, Justin collapsed into a chair. "Shit. I can't believe we did that." He was breathing hard, and there was a streak of dirt of his cheek from a near wipe-out as they scrambled back up the hill.

"You said that already," JC said. He poured them both glasses of water and leaned back against the counter. JC raised his glass in Justin's direction. "Here's to us, for getting your stuff back."

Justin raised his glass in imitation. "Here's to us, for breaking and entering." He downed his water in a few giant gulps, then lowered his glass and wiped his mouth.

The two fell silent for a moment. The stereo continued to play loudly over the whir of the air conditioner. JC shivered, as the cool air clashed with his hot and sweaty body. Justin just sat and fiddled with some of the awards on the table. JC was starting to say something about changing his clothes when Justin spoke up.

"Seriously, C. Thanks. This stuff- it's dumb, you know, but it means a lot to me. I mean, it wasn't so much not having it but it was the fact that she had it, you know? But I mean, thanks for helping me get it back." Justin stood up and wrapped his arms around JC's shoulders, hugging him hard. "You're just there for me, man. It means a lot."

JC hugged Justin back, feeling the strong muscles on his friend's back. "Anytime, any place. You know that, J. And, you know, you're welcome." JC leaned back and bit and smiled. Justin smiled back tentatively. He stepped back away from JC, but kept one hand on the counter next to him.

"I meant what I said before. You're really lucky, not having to deal with women." Justin rubbed his head with his free hand, then dropped his hand down to rub the muscles at the back of his neck.

JC crossed his arms across his chest. "I'm not, really. It's a nice thought, but relationships are all the same, no matter who's involved. Remember that guy who screwed Chris over and took all of his electronics?"

Justin nodded. "I know. It just seems easier. I mean, when you're with a guy, it's just the two of you. No media, no meddling would-be in-laws. I'm really envious of you."

JC cocked his head. Something in Justin's voice sounded wistful, which made JC concerned.

"J- you weren't serious before, were you? About being gay?"

Justin shrugged and looked down. He shuffled his feet a bit, kicking the black enamel cabinets. "I don't know. I don't- I never really thought about it before, cause it was always her. So I don't know." He looked up and smiled at JC. "Maybe?"

"Justin" JC didn't really know what to say. "I just. I don't want you making any drastic decisions just because of a breakup. You're still hurting, even if you don't want to admit it."

"I think... I'm just... I don't know what I am." Justin smiled a little, curving the corner of his mouth. "I just want to-." He leaned forward and pressed his lips against JC's.

JC was so shocked that he didn't know what to do. He leaned back and for a second, he caught a glimpse of Justin standing in front of him- eyes closed, lips puckered, completely vulnerable. Then it was gone, and Justin's eyes were open and full of hurt.

"Why did you... What?" JC couldn't even formulate a coherent thought. Justin kissed me, was all his head was saying. Justin kissed me.

"Oh, god, I'm sorry," Justin stammered. "JC, I'm so sorry. I just..." Justin spun around and practically ran out of the room. He bumped his arm on the door casing with a distinctive *thud* then disappeared from sight leaving JC standing in the kitchen alone.

**

"Seriously, what am I supposed to do?" JC had been up most of the night, before finally giving up and calling Lance.

"He just kissed you? Like, no warning, no explanation?" Lance's voice sounded tired, and JC could hear the sounds of a cafeteria in the background. He felt bad taking up Lance's time, but he had no other options. Everyone else he knew would kill him for calling at five in the morning.

"Nothing. I mean. OK, we were really drunk earlier and he said some stuff about being gay cause he couldn't stand women anymore. I thought he was kidding!"

Lance sighed into the phone. "Look, Jayce, I don't know. I've never thought he might be gay. But it makes sense. He's idolized you and Chris forever. He's always trying to be like you two. Now he's single and actually has the opportunity." Lance paused. "Remember the "past indiscretions" meeting?"

JC bit his lip. During one of their first meetings, Lou had asked them flat-out if they had anything in their past that would create bad press should they ever become big stars. Lance had mumbled something about fines for hunting out of season, and Joey had several parking tickets. Chris was already out to all of the guys, but Lou had forced him to lead a life of discretion. JC had blushed and stammered for five minutes before admitting that he, too, liked boys. Justin had immediately piped up with a "me too!", but when the others began to laugh, he added his trademark "Just kidding." Now, JC was thinking maybe they shouldn't have been so quick to laugh.

"Lance, what if it's true? What if he's, like, serious?"

"JC, are you telling me you never thought about what it would be like to date Justin? What it would be like to be with him?"

"Not really. I mean, I've thought about it, but in that completely arbitrary way, like I've thought about becoming a vegetarian or dying my hair purple. Just in that "what if?" kind of way."

"Well, look. I gotta go, we start class in five minutes. Just think about it seriously, OK? And don't freak J out too much. I'll call you when I get a chance." Lance hung up before JC got a chance to reply.

**

JC did nothing but think about it for the rest of the week. Despite his best efforts, JC wasn't able to corner Justin over the next few days. He'd rise early, but Justin would already be gone, and he'd fall asleep on the couch waiting for Justin to come home. That left him plenty of time to sit and think, lift and think, wander and think about Justin and kisses and what it all meant in his already incredibly messed up life.

JC was entirely comfortable with his sexuality, despite his public fade of straightness. It wasn't much of a façade these days, just enough to keep management happy. He considered himself a well-informed, well-experienced gay male. He'd been in both gay and straight relationships, and come to the conclusion that he was most definitely gay. He'd gotten past all of the crisis points in his early twenties, and at nearly 26, he was pretty sure he'd reached a stable point in the evolution of sexuality.

That theory had been shot to hell when Justin kissed him. JC hadn't really ever considered Justin as a boyfriend. He'd been honest with Lance about that. Sure, he had admired him as about the most perfect specimen of a man on the planet, but that was entirely different. It was like appreciating art, really, because Justin was just that beautiful.

The more he thought about it, though, the more he realized that when he really thought about it the more appealing Justin as a boyfriend sounded. Ridiculous, but appealing. He allowed himself to briefly entertain the notion of the two of them curled up together on long bus rides, or cuddled together during late night studio sessions. Then his happy vision was shattered with worries about break-ups and fights and group dynamics. A nice picture that would never really work, he decided.

Still, that didn't keep him from wondering what Justin would be like in bed. Late at night, alone in the dark, that was the thought that kept him awake.

**

They didn't run into each other again until Thursday morning, when the car came to pick them up to take them to the airport.

JC wandered into the kitchen to find Justin sitting at the table, eating a bowl of cereal and drinking coffee in a travel mug. Justin didn't lift his head when JC came into the room.

"Morning," JC said, as he opened a bag of bread and took out two pieces to toast.

"Morning." Justin still didn't look up.

"Are you ready to go?" JC asked, and Justin gestured with his free hand toward the suitcase at his feet. JC nodded, and went back to watching his toast.

"JC."

JC turned toward the table and met Justin's eyes. Justin looked awful, like he hadn't slept in days. There were bags under his eyes and the signs of strain all over his face.

"I know I've been- I haven't been around." Justin stopped, and looked down again. When he raised his head, his lips were pursed tight in a thin line. "Can we just forget that everything from the past week ever happened?"

JC stared at his friend. "We can pretend it didn't happen Justin. But I don't know if either of us is really going to forget it."

Justin sighed. He got up and brought his empty cereal bowl to the sink, careful not to touch JC as he walked past.

JC began to talk as he spread jelly on the crisp toast. "Look, Justin. I just wanna say I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. I mean, I was shocked and the alcohol and everything. Look, maybe we should talk about it. Because I've had some time to think and I..."

JC turned around, but Justin was already gone.

**

If the flight from Los Angeles to Orlando was strained, the weekend was a nightmare. The tension between JC and Justin, combined with the absence of Lance, cast a negative mood on the entire event. What was usually a weekend that ran on giddiness and energy seemed more like of a chore. Joey and Chris did their best to keep the crowd going, but Justin and JC were abnormally subdued and quiet. At one point, Joey pulled the two of them aside and told them to "Smile, dammit, this is supposed to be fun." After that, they made an effort, but it was still obvious that something was wrong.

When Justin flew back to Los Angeles at the end of the weekend, JC didn't follow. Instead, he spent a few days with his family in Orlando. He had to be back in LA for the Teen Choice Awards in a few days, so the visit was short but sweet. He slept a lot, played some basketball with his brother, ate his mom's cooking, and generally escaped from the world for a little while.

His mother asked him about "the boys," and he told her everything he knew about Lance's training and Joey's Broadway role. He shared a few of the more tasteful stories from Chris's road trip, but carefully left out all references to Justin. His mother raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. When he was leaving, she hugged him extra hard and warned him not to spend too much time in his "own little music world," because he might miss something important right in front of him. He smiled and pretended that he had a clue what she was talking about.

**

When the limo arrived to take him to the awards, Chris was waiting inside.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Chris asked, as JC climbed inside.

JC looked down at his T-shirt. "Clothes. I didn't feel like dressing up."

Chris laughed. "I can see your nipples through that shirt, you hussy."

JC looked down, then shrugged. "Whatever. No one will notice."

Chris raised an eyebrow. "You obviously have no clue about the depth of the average fan's obsession. They'll notice."

JC scowled at Chris. "He who wears a Mohawk after 1985 should never criticize the fashions of others."

Chris ran his hand over his hair, careful not to disturb the spikes. "Whatever, man. I'm stylin.' You're the one in the see-through Looney Toons T-Shirt."

JC suddenly realized how much he had missed this. Being alone is all well and good, but you never realize how much you've missed someone until you see them again. Even though they'd been together just the week before for Challenge, this was different. It was normal.

At least, it was normal until the car pulled into the circular driveway of the hotel where Justin was staying. There were a few fans waiting eagerly at the entrance with cameras, and JC could tell the precise moment that Justin entered the lobby by the screams that erupted and flashes that went off.

"Man, you spend a few weeks alone and suddenly you're not immune to the teenie's screaming anymore." Chris grumbled and pulled out a pair of the soft foam earplugs they stocked in the limo. The noise increased as Justin got into the car, then muffled as the door closed behind him.

"Curly. You think you can, for once, use the back door so we can avoid the mob scene?" Chris asked, pocketing the earplugs as the car pulled away from the curb.

"Nice to see you too, Chris-topher." Justin smirked. "I'm not gonna sneak around to avoid the public. That's how you lose fans, not gain them." Justin turned to JC. "Hi," he mumbled. He sat back against the seat and turned to look out the window.

Chris sighed. "OK, you two. Last weekend I at least had Joey to help me with this. I'm not gonna sit here with you guys pouting all night. You don't wanna tell me what happened, fine. But don't let it show when we're in public, got it?"

JC nodded and pulled his bucket hat down over his eyes. Justin mumbled something that sounded like a "sure, whatever."

Chris sighed, and thought about how much money he was going to make Lance and Joey pay him for having to do this alone.

**

The show was long, and loud. Very loud. JC thanked God for earplugs several times while sitting in the audience. They came away with another award, which was good. It wasn't a Grammy, but it was something.

Chris was heading out on the road again after the show, and JC could see Nelly talking to Justin backstage, trying to convince him to go to some hip-hopper after party. When Nelly walked away, Justin stood looking around the room. Seeing no one else he wanted to talk to, he sighed and strolled over to JC.

"You going out after?"

JC shrugged. He really wasn't in the mood to go party.

"Nelly wants me to go with him, but." Justin paused. "I dunno. I kinda just want to chill, you know?"

JC nodded. "You wanna come over, get something to eat?"

Justin hesitated. He looked like he was going to say no, but what came out was "Sure, yeah." JC was surprised, but managed to smile. This was a good first step, he supposed.

"OK. Cool." There was an awkward silence between the two of them. On stage, the show continued and the crowd roared as another award was announced.

"Hey, at least you got another surfboard," JC said, searching for something to break the uncomfortable silence.

Justin smiled. "Yeah. And it'll be a lot easier to get this one home than the other one would have been."

"Did you ever hear from her about that?"

Justin smiled, then laughed a little. "Oh, man. You gotta hear this." He looked around, though. "Not here, though, OK? I don't want it to end up in the papers or anything."

JC smiled. The way the two were talking, it was as if nothing was wrong. Obviously, there was still a lot more to be talked about. But this was a start. He had missed a Justin, more than he had realized. Even when they weren't working together or living together, they had still talked almost every day. Not having Justin to talk to had left a void in his life, and, he suspected, in Justin's life too. He hoped that they would be able to fix that emptiness.

Before anything else could be said, a stagehand approached the two of them and instructed them to return to their seats.

The show ended late, as award shows tend to do, and it took nearly another hour to get out of the building and into the limo waiting at a back entrance. Chris had taken off to a party, so it was just the two of them in the back of the car.

The silence was numbing, so JC reached over and flipped on the radio, just for some noise. He grinned to hear them playing the Girlfriend remix.

"I'm glad you talked us into this one. It's really good." JC looked over at Justin, who was perched stiff on the edge of his seat. He relaxed and smiled a little.

"I like it." Then it was back to not talking again.

"So, Britney. You said there was a story."

Justin's smile widened a bit, and he turned his attention away from the window to his friend. "Oh, man. Fuck, she was so pissed."

"When did she find out?"

"Like, two days after we were there? I got this phone call from Lynn warning me that Brit was fucking going insane. She, like, changed every fucking lock and added cameras all over the place. She's thinking about raising the wall around the patio and shit."

JC laughed softly. "You know, for a pair as famous as the two of you, it was awfully easy to break into your place."

"Sure, but I had lived there. I knew the codes."

"True."

"Anyway, she was fucking going insane. She never even called me or anything, I just heard from Lynn that she was totally ripshit. She wanted to, like, sue me or something, but the deeds to the house still have my name on them, and I only took my stuff so she couldn't."

"Oh, God, can you imagine if that ever hit the papers?"

Justin laughed. "Britney's ex is not that innocent of burglary."

"Oops, he did it again! Justin's secret klepto habit."

"Britney says Bye Bye Bye to Justin's trophies in bizarre pop star break in!"

JC was giggling and Justin soon joined him at the silliness of it. Neither of them realized they were approaching JC's house until the car slowed to a stop and the driver opened the door to find two men red in the face from laughing, gasping to catch their breath.

Inside, they stuck a couple of frozen pizzas in the oven and sat at the kitchen table waiting for them to cook. JC was drumming on the edge of the table while his fingers while Justin beat boxed a counter rhythm. It was so natural, they way they could just join together to make music. JC smiled.

"It's gonna feel weird, being here without you, once you get your own place."

Justin stopped beat boxing. "It always feels weird, not having all you guys around."

"Yeah, but you've been here all summer, so it's gonna be even weirder."

Justin nodded, and looked away. JC sighed.

"Can we I mean, can we, like, talk about what happened?"

Justin bit his lip. "I think the pizzas are done."

"Justin" JC swiveled in his chair to watch Justin's back as he retreated behind the island into the kitchen. "I'm not, like, mad or anything. I'm just trying to understand."

Justin didn't answer, so JC sat and waited. And waited. Finally Justin couldn't cut the pizza into any more slices, so he reluctantly carried the plates over to the table.

They began to eat in an awkward silence. The hot cheese burned JC's mouth, and he jumped up for a glass of water. As he was gulping it down, he heard Justin say "I can't make you understand cause I don't."

JC set down the water glass and waited patiently for his friend to go on.

"I. God, I don't know where to begin." Justin pushed his half-empty plate away. JC slowly walked back to the table and sat down, afraid that any sudden movements would scare Justin away. He'd spent weeks trying to figure out exactly what was going on in Justin's head, and damned if he was gonna spend any more time.

"OK." Justin took a deep breath. "Brit and I went to Hawaii in January, right?" JC nodded. "Well, it was. It was the first time. You know."

JC raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? I thought..."

"No. That was the first time. And it was. It was OK. But. Not great, you know? So, like, I tried to figure out what was wrong. I read this book, and it said something about long term relationships and expectations, and that. So I figured that was it. Then we tried it again. And it wasn't any better. So, like, I tried to talk to her, and she wouldn't even fucking listen!" Justin was talking faster now, bordering on hysterical.

"So, like, she told me that it wasn't her, it was me. And the reason she knew that was because it wasn't her first time, she'd fucking-" Justin gasped for air, a sob escaping in the process. "She's fucking fucked Him, like, years ago!" He was beyond hysterical now, his face red with frustration and anger as he struggled to get the words out. "She never told me, I was saving myself for her and she wasn't even a... a..."

He never got the last word out, because JC wrapped him into a huge hug. Justin hadn't ever told them this. All he'd said was that things weren't working out. Justin had always been very private about his relationships, so no one had questioned. JC'd never imagined that it was this heart-wrenching.

Justin sniffled. "There's more," he said, pushing JC back. "When we broke up, I had a chance to really think about everything, and it just. I don't think I ever loved her. I think that's part of the problem. I think that I was just using her because everyone told me that I should. Because it was easier to just be with her and convince myself that it was what I wanted than to admit that it wasn't what I wanted at all. It'd been so long that it wasn't until she was gone completely that I realized exactly what it was that I wanted, and it wasn't her. It was." He stopped.

"It was you." Justin's voice was quiet and a little sad in the last few words. "I wanted you, which I guess means that I'm gay. Which would explain the whole bad sex thing."

JC reached up and placed a finger over Justin's lips, quieting his friend. "Sshhhh. Stop for a minute. Just because it wasn't good with Britney doesn't mean you're gay. If you are, that's one thing, but don't jump to conclusions over it."

Justin reached up and brushed JC's hand away, annoyed. "I know that. It's more than that. It's just. I know, OK? I can't fucking explain how I know or why this revelation just came but I know."

"OK." JC figured that he'd leave it at that, even though he wasn't entirely convinced. There was still one more thing that he hadn't addressed, though.

"Justin?" He waited until Justin stopped blowing his nose in a napkin before continuing. "You said... me?"

Justin bit the inside of his lip to keep it from quivering. There was only so much emotional breakdown a guy could go through in one day, JC thought, but dragging this out wouldn't do any good either.

"Yeah. I just. I think it's from a long time ago. Like, I had a crush on you when I was, like, fourteen, right when you came back to Florida. And it was just this thing, and I talked myself out of it, but it's always kinda been there under the surface, ya know?"

JC nodded, though stunned. He'd practically talked himself into believe that Justin's kiss didn't mean anything, and now he was realize it meant everything.

"Just... I don't know what to say."

"Don't fucking give me that. Don't treat me like some fan you have to let down gently."

JC shook his head. "No. God, no. That's not. Justin, God, I'd have to be insane to let you down."

Justin looked up, a wary expression on his face. "Huh?"

"Since that day? I've, well, been thinking. About you. About nothing but you. And it's really"... JC smiled. "I have no idea how to say this other than you're really fucking hot and sweet and just perfect and yes. All of that, so stop shaking your head. You are. And I never even thought about you, because you were with her, but really, when I did, I couldn't find a single reason why we shouldn't be together."

JC reached across the table and laid his hand over Justin's. Justin turned his hand over, palm-to-palm, fingers intertwined.

"I'm still a fucking mess, you do realize that." Justin studied JC seriously, hoping this wasn't some crazy dream that was going to vanish in the morning.

"I know. But that's OK. I think I love you anyway.

Simple and sweet, Justin pressed his lips against JC's. He parted them slightly, angling for a better fit. JC kept his hand linked with Justin's, and Justin raised his other to the back of JC's head. He ran his fingers through JC's hair, tangling them in the silky strands and curls, using his fingers to press JC's head closer to his own.

When JC reached out his tongue to lick at Justin's lips, Justin opened his mouth slightly in invitation. JC sucked on Justin's lips then entered his mouth, sweeping past teeth to duel with Justin's tongue in a deep, passionate kiss. He ran his hand up Justin's side to stroke the back of his neck, resting his thumb on Justin's pulse point so he could feel the strong steady rhythm beneath Justin's skin.

When they broke apart, Justin stayed frozen in place, eyes closed, wet lips slightly parted. JC had never seen anything more beautiful than this boy- this man- sitting before him. Justin opened his eyes and smiled, stroking the back of JC's head.

With a look that conveyed so much more than words ever could, JC stood and tugged Justin behind him up the stairs to the bedroom.

**

"You know, this is incredibly bad timing." Justin said later, as they stripped the bed and carried the linens down to the washroom.

"Oh yeah? Why?" JC dumped the sheets in a pile by the washer, and reached for Justin, pulling him closer.

"Because I just bought a nine million dollar house that's a good ten minute drive from here." Justin smiled, and hooked his fingers in the waistband of JC's shorts.

"That is a problem. I suppose you could always just sell it again."

Justin shook his head. "Nah. I wanna keep it. I'm looking forward to decorating, having my own space. You know."

JC nodded. Justin needed that, he understood. And really, moving in together the morning after they slept together would be bad.

"But, you know. You're getting the first copy of the key." Justin smiled as he worked his hands down into JC's shorts, caressing JC's hipbones with incredible tenderness.

"I'd better." JC replied. "Because I'm not going to want to sleep alone anymore."

Justin smiled at JC and leaned up to kiss him. "You won't have to. Ever again."

END  


  



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